Saturday, December 20, 2008

New City Ordinance

I went on a date last night and saw the play/musical "A Christmas Carol" at the Herberger Theater in downtown Phoenix. Musicals and plays make me SO happy, so I don't think I could have left that date NOT happy. It was really a good show, our seats were amazing, and I'd recommend it to anyone for a fun FHE or family activity. Anyways, there's a lot of construction around the theater and downtown in general, so as we were crossing an intersection we approached a black construction worker waiting on the other side. Once we reached him he said to my date, "Sir, I don't know if you know this, but we have a new city ordinance in place..."

At this point I'm thinking, "Crap! What did we do wrong? Were we not supposed to cross here? Everyone else was and we had the walking man light...crap."

"...that you're not allowed to bring a girl here who is so dang FINE! *turns to me* Seriously, you are beautiful!" At this point, I laughed and my eye rolls start coming out in full force. But I thought it was SO hilarious. Who says that?!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

We're Running a Ghetto Operation Here

We're living in a time when most people are starting to upgrade their DVD collections to Blu-Ray. But here at the Burt household, we're holding onto ancient technology--the VCR. Ok, it's not the entire Burt family involved in this, mostly it's

We have an extensive collection of VHS tapes that I think are good to whip out from time to time--especially during Christmas time considering that every Christmas movie we own is on VHS. Well a few weeks ago while watching Babe, the VCR died. I was devastated. What was I to do? I was even more devastated when I realized we in the midst of the Christmas season.

But don't worry, instead of just buying new DVDs to replace the old tapes, I've thought of a better solution: plugging our old tiny TV/VCR player into the home theatre receiver. And voila! I can now watch my ancient, poor quality tapes again! At this point I realized how ghetto this actually is...the picture below explains all.

Can anyone name the holiday classic movie that I'm watching here?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Fat Show

After dinner, my mom hopped up and said, "Well, gotta watch the FAT show" as she headed to the living room. Hmm, I'm sure that's not what the creators of "The Biggest Loser" were going for, but then again, maybe it was....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Electronic Handheld Yahtzee....Ew

My family has this electronic handheld Yahtzee game that must have been a stocking stuffer from a Christmas ages ago. I'm surprised this thing is still around because normally gifts like that lose their flavor after a month and find themselves sitting battery-less at the bottom of the big black bin outside. Oh, but not this one, it has found a special place in our home that nothing else can fill....bathroom entertainment.

Yes, you heard me right, it's home sits right on top of my toilet (for easy access I guess). I don't know how it got there--it DEFINITELY wasn't me. But occasionally I'll be sitting in the living room and I'll hear the very distinctive beeping of that toy and immediately know--unfortunately--that someone is going at it in there. I don't know how many germs are living on that thing and I don't want to know. I might have to don a radioactive suit--with grabbing tongs, of course--and dispose of it one night.

Yes, I know I'm revealing embarrassing tidbits about my family (what else is blogging good for than to parade your dirty laundry for all your friends and blog stalkers to see?) The most embarrassing part of this story: I personally am guilty of using that...thing. But only once--I had to see what all the fuss was about. Surprisingly, I found it very convenient and distracting!


I stole this from a friend's facebook page, but I thought it was hilarious. So those facebookers out there all know that some of the ads are hilarious, irrelevant and borderline ridiculous. Well this one I got a kick out of.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


After reading about it for a few months, I finally depotted all my MAC eyeshadows! I told my friend Alex about it and she was just so excited about it, that I finally did it. We both depotted ours a few weeks ago and I absolutely LOVE it. I was worried I miss having them in their own cute containers, but now all my eyeshadows are in the same place so I can just see all my colors at once and now I actually use ones that I'd forgotten about.

The best part? Well, you can Back-2-Mac six empty containers and if you return them to a Mac Pro Store (the Scottsdale or Biltmore stores), then you can get a free eyeshadow (normally you can only get a lipstick). I think I've gotten about 7 free eyeshadows from just depotting alone. And then you depot those free ones and it's a cycle that results in tons of free eyeshadow!

I helped my sister depot all hers and she told my cousins and now they all want to do it. I think we should have a depotting party and do it all together. It's really easy to do and so worth it. So to all you cousins out there who want to do this, when do you want to get together?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Rule Breaker

Is it bad that I know panty lines are the #1 fashion DON'T, yet I totally disregard the rule when I go to the gym? I just don't care..and the alternative is quite uncomfortable. I work out to feel the burn, not to feel an eternal wedgie.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Toucan Delight

I love my dad. He always full of the best, most hilarious quotes. Today's quote of the day happened after we went golfing. As tradition, after we golf he usually takes me to get a smoothie at Tropical Smoothie Cafe. We went through the drive thru and I told him I wanted a smoothie called a Toucan Delight.

Dad: "We'll have two cans of delight." Our order came up on the screen a second later.
Dad: "Oh...Toucan Delight....What's a Toucan?"
Me: "It's a bird."
Dad: Oh, you mean a tou-cun."


Monday, November 10, 2008

"Did You Get Attacked By a Rosebush or Something?"

Not exactly. The whole right side of my arm (and actually part of my head behind my ear) are covered in scratches. What caused it? A horrible rosebush pruning gone wrong? Nope. I actually was riding a naughty horse who wanted to go home and--as a result--backed me up into a pokey tree. Twice. But close enough, I guess.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Is that... Dr. O'Malley?

Anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? Know who Dr. George O'Malley is? I know, I know, you're saying "Awwww, I love George" as if he's some cute puppy with a giant bow around its neck.

Well, last week I was confronted with his face double in the form of my BodyCombat (a kick boxing class) instructor. I'm sorry but the face of GEORGE O'MALLEY is NOT what I want to work out to. If you had to work out to a Grey's Anatomy character, you want to work out to a McSteamy, not an O'Malley. Where did my hot-bodied Tony go? Or Jeanie--the awesomely fit, Japanese girl with the wicked British accent? I just couldn't get into this new guy! Every time I looked at him I saw the face of the man who used to fawn over Merideth in early seasons--neither endearing nor motivating...


Thursday, November 6, 2008


While working today, I was confronted with a woman about a foot taller than me, which immediately reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a while ago. Here are my opinions on the subject:

If you have fake boobs or recently got a boob job, don't lie about them! It's SOOOOO obvious what went on there. Really. You're lying to girls of all people; we've lived with them our whole lives. We can tell--even if they're just a "little bit" bigger. Trust me we can tell. Why get them (when obviously that's the sort of attention you want) and then lie about them to your friends. Please. No one's that big, perky, bouncy, round, etc. Maybe a few people are, but you definately weren't a few months ago. Instead, embrace them (but not literally, thank you very much)!

Moral of the story: Don't lie about it. It just makes you look that much MORE ridiculous.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sweating to the Oldies? I think not.

As I was sweating up a storm on the insurmountable Stair Master at the gym (You know the one: the giant one with the steps that actually move), I noticed that everyone there owns and uses an iPod. And then I realized a few things about my gym iPod usage:

1. Most iPods are attached to a sporty armband that can handle jogging, weight lifting, or just plain looking cool while flexing your arm at the mirror when you think no one's looking. Mine on the other hand...I tuck into the front or back of my spandex shorts, which always results in a super sweaty device after removal. Sweet. I mean, sweat.

2. I'm positive that most people listen to either rap, rock, pop, or another type of monosyllable genre. This is when I realized that I am probably the only person in the world to actually be hardcore working out to the audiobook of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. It should be semi-embarrassing, but--plainly--it is not. "Sweating to the Oldies?" Please, in my opinion, there's nothing that give me more felicity than burning fat to a soothing British accent.

Now, my next question I address to you: What sort music do you listen to at the gym?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Halloween Phantom - Part 2

After you accept the Phantom's goodies, you're now legally obligated and bound to deliver some to someone else. Seriously. I had a friend arrested because she neglected to do this. So after I made the cupcakes, that duty fell on me. I was in my pijamas (which includes an absurdly large Rockin' R Ranch T-shirt and the rattiest boxers you ever did see), so I obviously wanted to get this done quickly. So I delivered the first one: lightly creeped up to the house, rang the doorbell, and BOLTED back to safety. One down.

The 2nd delivery posed a bit more trouble. Trying to be nice to the neighbors nobody talks to, my mom made me deliver it to them. As I was walking up to their door, I realized that--since they're in a corner lot--they possess one of the world's longest walkways. This was going to be a problem running away because it would probably take me 3 minutes to actually get off their property. So as I was running away, I kicked it in high gear (or at least as much as my Steve Madden flats would allow me to) and ran all the way home. After this, I was pretty tuckered out and sat on the couch ready to watch the Doris Day movie that my mom said she'd watch with me after I delivered the goods. Or that's what I thought would happen: my mom walked in a few minutes later saying that the package was still there--the neighbors weren't home.

So up again I went to deliver it to someone else. This time to the nice retired couple across the street. In a hurry to watch my movie, I rudely just cut across their lawn, put the plate on their doorstep, rang the bell three times, and ran away. I had to take a sharp left from their doorstep to cut across their lawn, but as I did that I scraped past one of their potted plants. And this wasn't just any ordinary, normal plant--it was a fake, decorative, no maintenance, metal plant. This equals major ouch. By the time I got home and had a chance to look at my upper leg, I had a 7 inch, puffy, bleeding gash on it. Awesome. Thanks Phantom.

The best part of the story: the neighbors weren't even home.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Halloween Phantom

We've been the Halloween Phantom! For those not acquainted with this little guy, you soon will be--either because he will hit your house soon OR you have no clue what I'm talking about but you will if you keep on reading. Here's what it is: you mysteriously receive a plate of goodies on your doorstep with an attached sign that says, "You've been hit by the Phantom!" along with a full size picture of a ghost. You put the ghost sign on your door so that you can't get hit again and now it's your job to spook two other households with a platefull of goodies that can consist of anything from cookies, candy, etc. Or at least that's what supposed to happen!

Here's what the Phantom struck us with this year:

Talk about LAY-Z! They couldn't even make us the goodies, but instead are making us do it ourselves! What fun is that?! (Actually they probably thought it would be such a "fun" activity to make the cupcakes together as a family, but in reality, it wasn't. I ended up making them...alone). At least they kind of tried by decorating the bag with festive stickers....Pretty much the only upside to this situation is that I was able to regift the fully baked cupcakes (well, all but the five I kept for the fam) to two other unsuspecting Phantom victims. Mwhahaha! Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It's Fall So You Know What That Means....'s Boutique time! My aunt is in on next week. She makes so many cute, fun things! Check it out!


Oct. 16, 17 & 18 at Bev's home. 3745 E Hopi Ave. Mesa, AZ (Map)

Thurs. & Fri., 10AM to 7 PM Sat. 10 AM to 5PM

All kinds of holiday craft items, home decor items, one of a kind shabby chic and lots, lots more. Hoke will be in the kitchen making homemade green chili burros and salsa by the jar. Homemade holiday treats and all kinds of goodies. You won't want to miss this.

Look for the TATTERED LADIES signs directing you to the Fun!

Saturday, September 20, 2008


You are a

Social Conservative
(38% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(43% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test

I'm a Centrist, which is not unheard of. The majority of Americans are even though they claim they are something else. Although, I am veering towards Totalitarianism which I think is great. I'm right on the center of John McCain's chest. lol

Thursday, September 4, 2008


When I lived with roommates, I had access to every color of high heeled shoe imaginable. But since moving out, I've noticed major gaps in my own shoe collection which is unacceptable.

One shoe I don't have is navy blue. One morning, I put together this fabulous outfit together which only navy blue heels would match. Since I was already late for work, I quickly nipped into my mother's closet and stole a pair of her heels.

When I came home, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Wow, these shoes are matronly." To which my mom replied, "Um yeah! I don't even wear those!" I wish I would have known that before I embarrassed myself by wearing them in public....

Old People. Seriously.

Yesterday at work, I was helping what seemed to be a superficially sweet old man take $50 out of his account (in Arizona quarters) when he said to me: "So when's that thing coming out of your stomach?"

My eyebrows shot up and clenched together the same time as my jaw dropped. I refuted, "I'm not pregnant!" He muttered something like "Oh gosh golly" and conked his head with the side of his hand. "Silly me." Um, yeah. Acting like you're old and senile won't get you out of this mess, sir. He quickly exited the bank faster than if he actually had robbed the place.

Seriously. There were many clues that he should have picked up on before asking this question:
  1. No ring on my finger. Sorry, old man, but I'm not a whore.
  2. I have NO bump at all. I lost 15 pounds this summer. My stomach has gotten flatter, not rounder and more baby-filled.
  3. Um, maybe the teller right next to me who's 8 months pregnant could give you a reference to what a pregnant girl looks like!? Just maybe.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm a Creature of Habit

So my nightly bedtime routine involves me snuggling up in my comforter and falling asleep to a favorite movie. And boy is it ROU-TINE. I usually watch the same few movies over and over and over again. It's because of this that I have achieved the phenomenon of watching Aladdin over 400 times (Seriously, you think I'm joking, but I'm not). Other nightly favorites of mine include Pride & Prejudice and the 1961 version of The Parent Trap. But due to me already having exhausted my threshold for The Parent Trap this past month and having my copy of P&P stolen--I mean, borrowed--by my sister, I've had to search for other alternatives.

So as I plopped myself down in front of my family's meager DVD collection, I was presented with lots of options which is not a good thing for me (for more information on my indecisiveness, see previous post). Immediately I was drawn to the Disney Platinum Collection DVD's, but decided that tonight I was going to be spontaneous and "live on the wild side" (and I guess--in this case--that entails going to bed at 10:30 on a Saturday night). So after sifting through some newer acquisitions to the collection--all of which I recall getting a "rotten" score on Rotten Tomatoes--I chose a movie (shocking, I know).

Don't ask me why I picked A River Runs Through It to finish off my evening...I don't even know myself. Supposedly according to the DVD case, "Robert Redford has fashioned a masterpiece" and in my book, anyone who owns Sundance and created the Sundance film festival is worth a shot. So we're giving this one a try tonight...we'll see if it does the job and puts me to sleep.

I'm Indecisive

I'm probably in the world ranking as one of the "Top 10 Most Indecisive People." Oh, I have no problem narrowing down my options, but once I have only 2-5 choices left...I'm hopeless. This is especially painful when it comes to ordering food: "do I want healthy? Or yummy? The full portion or the lunch size? But this one is cheaper; hmm, but this one is healthy." I mull over the options in my head over so many times that even the waitress has to say, "STILL deciding, hun?"

Really--I'm embarrassing to dine with because I take forever. Once I even tried to be decisive and get the best of both worlds by asking the waiter if I could get asparagus on my pizza--the groans and embarrassed looks of my party immediately followed. What?!...It sounded good...

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


No. I can't deposit money into your checkings account because NO SUCH THING EXISTS. But I can put it into your checking account.

I feel like screaming this 100 times a day. That is all.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Nice Legs

It's 110 degrees outside, but my church building is an icebox inside. Therefore, I didn't feel stupid wearing my leopard print tights to church today. Yes, they make me look like a diva but they get the job done. I was chatting in the hall in between classes and some passing guy looked me over and said, "Nice legs." It just made me laugh because while I do have very nice legs, all it took was some obnoxious leopard tights to get someone to notice.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Drug Dealin'

Today I worked 11-6 and didn't take a lunch. But don't worry about me, I saw it coming so on my way out the door I grabbed the quickest, mini-meal ever: my meal replacement/protein powder. I ziplocked it in a cute plastic bag and stored it for later. I was working at a branch today that is within a grocery store, so when business got slow I quickly bought myself a 16 oz. bottle of Skim Milk.

The powder is a mess to dump into the small opening of the bottle, so I stashed off into the bathroom to create my concoction over the sink--for easy clean up! When I walk in there, the place is empty except for one stall where I heard the awkward shuffles of feet and then the sudden silence of the feet. I didn't care and started adding my white powder to the milk. At this point, I felt that I looked like a cocaine addict who was trying to get a quick fix in the bathroom. And I'm sure that's what it would have looked like to anyone who walked in: white powder everywhere, me anxiously trying to clean it up. Yeah.

But honestly, I was in there for about 5 minutes and the whole time that person in the stall never moved a muscle. Stage fright, perhaps? Whatever it was, if anyone was doing drugs in the bathroom, it was definitely her. Not me.

Friday, July 18, 2008

It's a Classic

When I was a schoolgirl, the best part of sick days was lying on the couch and watching The Price is Right (tPiR). I love The Price is Right; from this show comes many classic lines such as "One dollar, Bob!", "That's too much","Come on down!" and "A NEW car!" Also, I feel the need to clarify: by tPiR, I mean the OLD, classic, hosted by the pimp Bob Barker PiR--not this new stuff with the world's most unflattering, unpersonable, and awkward game show host Drew Carrey.

One of my favorite segments is Cliffhangers. You know the one I'm talking about:
the one where the little backpacker climbs up the infamous PiR mountain while yodeling his little heart out the whole way up. If you don't know what I'm talking about (and even if you do)...please watch this clip. That clip is awesome for two reasons: 1) it's the worst playing of Cliffhangers EVER and 2) it proves my point about how horrible of a game show host Drew is. Two birds, one stone.

Note: I'm not talking about this Cliffhanger. I'm talking about something MUCH cooler, sexier and that has an even bigger "avalanche of thrills" than good ol' Sylvester's (un)classic 1993 action film.

YES! Now this is the action I'm talking about!

I've recently gotten my hands onto the AUDIO file of the yodeller's yodel song. This thing pre-dates VCR's, is absolutely ridiculous, yet it still rocks my world. I seriously listen to it all the time because I get such a kick out of it: there's something about Swiss music--and it's prominent use of the accordion--that just makes me want to do a little jig and grab a partner doe-see-doe. I'm sure the fact that it reminds me of waiting in line for the Matterhorn at Disneyland doesn't help much either.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

That's How We Roll!

Things I learned from my "skate date" at Skateland:

1. You can tell the hard core skaters or "regulars" based on their skates: pimped out skates with custom chrome rims
The regulars also tend to be tall, skinny white guys with slicked back greasy hair who wear silk shirts that are buttoned half way up. Sex-ay!

Someone really needs to tell the 30-year-old guys that there are better places to go on a Saturday night to pick up chicks...

4. Rollerbladers are NOT cool and consequently shunned.
5. Watch out for skate gangs. Seriously, they'll bust a cap on you.
Dancing ability on the dance floor directly translates to skate floor: black people still can work it and dance and white people still...can't.

White guys dancing on skates is probably about the whitest thing ever.

If your not thug or cool enough to be in a real gang, apparently skating around the rink at Skateland is the next best thing. Wifebeaters and Jnco jeans are mandatory.
9. The middle of rink is reserved for the hard core skaters who want to practice/show off their sweet dance moves--all of which were pitifully embarrassing. These guys have nothing on BreakSk8.
The patrons of Skateland are 10x more ghetto than those in Provo. This makes the experience 100x more AWESOME.

Favorite quote of the night:
  • "Tomorrow is single's hip hop night. NO KIDS! You should come." --Creepy silk shirt guy

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Wait mister! You're drinking a candle!

I'm a huge purveyor of wax. I wax everything: legs, armpits, bikini line, eyebrows--pretty much anywhere that grows hair, I wax. There's nothing better than waxing your legs, then shaving them real fast (to get rid of any stray hairs and dead skin you missed): it's akin to the feeling of when you first shaved your legs when you were 12 and then felt them against the bed sheets. You know what I'm talking about. smooth.

Since I've been home in Arizona and enjoying the sun, my waxing skills came out in full force. I've already waxed my legs, armpits, and bikini line twice since I've been home (once in mid May and just recently last week). Waxing lasts about 6-8 weeks, but even then the regrowth isn't the same. I rewaxed my legs last week and I was SO surprised about how much thinner and sparse the hair was. I even have little patches on my legs from when I waxed years ago that STILL haven't grown back. It's awesome. By the way, those aren't my legs: mine are so much sexier and better looking.

And let me just answer the question I know all of you are thinking: But Morgan, doesn't it HURT?! Answer: No. Although, I have a REALLY high threshold for pain, so I'm not sure I'm the best to ask that question. BUT if done correctly, waxing should not hurt.

The world's best wax is Sally Hansen Express Wax Hair Removal Kit. The wax is water rinsable which is A MUST. DO NOT buy wax that doesn't wash off with water because the other kind is just a horrible mess that never seems to go away (I still have a sticky spot on my bathroom floor from it). I buy it at Walgreen's and stocked up last week when I found out that it was on sale for $5 opposed to the normal $9.99; so I bought two boxes because I know I'll be needing it in the future.

As much as I love this girl for being Asian, this girl's such a noob: that is NOT the best way to put on wax. Look how goopy it is! Noob, you fail.

I've Been Tagged, Therefore I Must Obey

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Morgan Fairchild. Seriously, my dad liked the name. Otherwise, I would have been named Paula. Haha, now try to imagine that.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? In Seattle aka the worst trip ever.
I like it, although I wish my cursive was a bit more elegant.
Um, no.
I'd have to get to know me first because I think I intimidate people from a first glance.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sarcasm is like breathing.
I'd love to! But I don't think it would be the best for my back, so I'll probably try some other sort of "extreme activity."
Oatmeal Squares
Teeth! Bad teeth = bad news.
Xtina, Bri, Alisha, Mishi & Allison! My roomies from Provo. :(
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Not really. I get a bit too many of these in my inbox and now apparently, in my blog. lol.
None. I feet tend to be nudists.
A vanilla protein shake that I opted to make with water instead of was a horrible idea.
The Animation Podcast. I'm such a nerd.
Very Sexy for Him 1 & 2, Chorine, Pumpkin Spice Candles
My mom, yesterday, 11:54 p.m.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Very much! She's such an awesome chica.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Basketball. I love my Suns!
27. HAIR COLOR? Blonde
28. EYE COLOR? Green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes. Unfortunately, I lost one of mine while I was golfing, so I'm contact-less until I make an effort to order more.
Cheesecake, lasagna, asparagus, steak
Happy. I've yet to find a scary movie that I've found scary.
Newsies. What?! After the fireworks at the Dbacks game yesterday, my brother and I had an unresistable urge to watch Newsies in order to practice our New York accents.
It's actually a blakc *NSYNC shirt from their Celebrity tour. Haha.
SUMMER! I hate winter with an undying passion.
Cheesecake. Yum.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? A person with a life.
New Moon. I'm rereading the Twilight series to gear up for the release of BREAKING DAWN in less than a MONTH! I'm SO EXCITED!
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Pssh. Who uses those things. I'm on a Macbook, hence no mouse pad.
I didn't watch TV last night. But the night, nevermind.
What? That's a weird question.
I guess Beatles.
Ho Chi Mihn City, Vietname (if just beat out Bejing for the farthest).
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm double jointed.
Mesa, AZ
On Survivor.

I tag: Chelsea, Xtina, Dana

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Already Know

So I'm taking one class during the summer session: Chemistry 151, which is the first in the 4 class chemistry set that I need in order to apply to medical school. I took Honors Chem and AP Chem in high school and this class it's RIDICIOUSLY easy (I think it's because I still have all that information from years ago stored in my brain for some reason, so I never have to study. Thank you, brain.). But I'm really starting to appreciate BYU for how challenging it, how I miss being challenged.

Anyways, the professor--Dr. Seung-Joo Lee--is a cute Korean woman (whose mannerisms, speech, and facial expressions have hints of Sun from LOST. I know... I'm obsessed). Well today was another boring, remedial lecture over the gas law equations and I was talking with my friend when suddenly she stopped class and yelled:

"Can you be quiet even though you already know?!"

Hahaha, yes professor, I do already know.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I'm a Makeup Whore

It's not secret that I love make-up. I go through phases though: from totally decked out in crazy eyeshadow colors (ranging from my current favorite--orange--to green to blue) to completely minimal and natural. My passion for makeup has obviously gotten out because because I'm always being asked to do people's makeup for certain events. Since April, I've done makeup for 3 engagements and 2 weddings. I love doing it so if you need makeup done, email me and we'll talk.

Anyways, here are a few makeup products I'm crazy about right now:

1. Bad Gal Mascara by Benefit Cosmetics
This new big name in cosmetics comes all the way from the fabulous city of San Fransisco. I get big beautiful, voluminous lashes with just one coat--a few people have even asked if I'm wearing falsies when I use this. Everyone knows that Diorshow is the queen of all mascaras in the industry, but Bad Gal comes pretty darn close and it's a little bit cheaper.

2. NARS Blush
NARS is my new favorite brand because it has AWESOME pigmentation. Their blushes are gorgeous and can be applied light or quite heavy for a dramatic look. All their blushes have subtle pink undertones which highlights cheeks and complexion. Above is my newest purchase--in the color Desire--which I'm in love with. I feel like Barbie when I wear it.

3. White Eyeliner by M.A.C.
This is a beauty trick I learned a few years ago during the one week in my life that I ever watched the Tyra Banks Show. Use the white eyeliner pencil in your waterline when you're tired or lazy (in the link above, click to 4:00 to see how to apply). It's a trick straight from the runway and it REALLY makes your eyes big and pop like a babydoll. I bought the color "Fascinating" years ago when it was the waterproof formula and it's AWESOME because it lasts ALL DAY LONG. And I ALWAYS get compliments about how good I look whenever I use this little baby.

Friday, June 20, 2008

My Week in Doodle Form

I recently got a job as a part-time teller (or "Member Service Consultant") and had work training this whole entire week. It's from 9-5:30, but lucky (sort of) for me, I have class from 7:30-12:40 Monday-Thursday; so I don't be at training until 1. Which is good because the material is SO mundane and boring: it takes them 4 hours to cover material that they could easily get done in an hour. Since I'm not an idiot and I ALREADY know how to "turn on my computer," I pass the time by doing what else? Doodling.

It kind of sucks because I keep forgetting to bring a pencil, so I have to draw everything in pen (the other alternative is actually paying attention). So, I suck it up and draw in pen. Pen is hard because you can't erase, fix mistakes, change a pose, etc. But it's been good for me because I'm forced to draw "well" the first time around.

Anyways, here is my week in doodle form.
So if the bank was to have a new employee training greeter, this is what she would look like--sequin dress and all.
Ugh, look what pen does! Originally, she started out with her back facing the viewer, but then I decided to change it to her front. So I magically transformed her back into saggy boobs. But I still think she looks a bit wonky. She looks ok from the waist up, but the waist down looks like her booty is facing us...oh well.
I tried to draw Giselle from Enchanted from memory....FAIL.
I honestly don't know where this came from. I guess I was channeling Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove at the time.
This one's my favorite. Girly-girl Diva's are the best.

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Law of Borrowing

It's an unwritten rule that when you borrow something from someone, you return it in the form it was given to you. This applies to clothing, cars, food, etc. It's just common sense. I borrow two jumbo eggs from you, you return two jumbo eggs to me. That's just the way it goes.

Well, my friend borrowed an unopened bag of Toll House chocolate chips from me so that she could make some sort of chocolately goodies. "I'm desperate because my lame guy friend is coming over and I want to impress him!" she said. Ok, so didn't say that...but I got that vibe. I didn't mind because she was going to "pay me back." Well she did...with store brand chocolate chips! Another unwritten rule is that when you borrow something from someone that is a usable resource (I'm talking food ingredients here), you return it in a form that that is of equal or greater value. Not lesser. I know it's just chocolate chips--and call me a brat--but I was a bit ticked. I bought those chocolate chips specifically for the taste/brand/so that I looked cool scanning them at the checkout line/whatever and paid a hefty price premium for them too (we're talking like 60 cents more here)! Outrage.

It's comparable to if you borrow my Jimmy Choo pumps and then return back a pair of Payless knock offs. Whether it's high-fashion heels or chocolate chips, it equals unacceptable.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Pinky, Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?

So I'm taking a page out of Alex's blog and posting what I did in my Photoshop/Illustrator class last night. Alex actually followed the instructions to a T and hers looked exactly like the instructors (that's why she's a good pupil), but I was bored by the geriatrically slow pace and took some creative leeway with mine. My inspiration was South Park meets Hallmark card--well, minus the mindless violence, swearing, and unnecessary poop jokes...Sadly, we--Chelsea, Alex, and myself--all thought the same thing and dropped the class. Reason why are listed below:

1. Time: Monday and Wednesday's from 7-10....p.m.
2. Place: at MCC. It's 15 minutes away which equals 324102374 gallons of gas each way.
3. Teacher: he semi-looked like Sayid from LOST (and a classmate also looked like Faraday). Therefore, I couldn't focus because I was thinking about LOST the whole time.
4. Students: filled with IDIOTS who've never used computers before. I think I heard, "You're going too fast," "What did you just do!?" and the ever popular "I've NEVER USED A MAC BEFORE!" about 200 times during the class. I felt like saying, "I'm sorry, but the remedial class for all you dunderheads-who've-been-living-your-caves-for-the-past-two-decades is next door."
5. We could have gone through how to create the "angry bear" in about an hour, not 3.
6. We had to come back on Wednesday so that we could do the exact same thing that we did on Monday, this time for credit. Um, professor, haven't you ever heard of HOMEWORK?
7. I missed return of The Mole. :(

Conclusion: Not worth our time and money. Although, I did email this bear to my mom to which she replied, "Very Good, Honey!" So for the praise and recognition from mom, maybe it was worth it...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Let's GNO!

My friend recently posted on her blog about her latest "GNO." For those who don't know, GNO stands for "Girl's Night Out" and is not to be confused with "Gyno" (trust me, I've gotten a lot of confused looks from people when I say it). My friends and I came up with the term about 2 years ago—or at least we thought we did. I was talking with a friend a while ago and my upcoming GNO was discussed:

Me: We're having a GNO this weekend!
Sara: A GNO? You mean like the Miley Cyrus song?
Sara: Yeah, one of her songs is about that.
Me: Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe that's a Miley song! Seriously, that's embarrassing. But wait a second....the question I have for you is....why do you know about that song?
Sara: Um...I babysit for girls who are fans.

Sure, Sara, Sure. Immediately, I informed my roommates about this egregious information and we were all ashamed to be associated with the song, but soon got over it and then embraced it. Now, this song is the theme song for all our GNOs. And also, it appears the term dates back to at least 2004 according to urban dictionary
—so I guess we didn't come up with it...

Anyways, here are some tips on how to have an awesome GNO:

1. Music: have a GNO playlist handy for when you're driving in the car—getting everyone crammed together in a car singing along helps to strengthen the bonds of friendship and sisterhood. Examples from our playlist include "Le Disko" by Shiny Toy Guns, "Tony the Beat" by The Sounds, and of course, the infamous "GNO" by Miley Cyrus.

2. Theme Nights: the theme of this GNO pictured below was "Utah Girls" where we dressed up like
—you guessed itUtah girls who wear tons of black makeup, have GIANT hair, and wear oversized sunglasses all the time—even at night.
3. Crazy shenanigans: Yes, that is me fighting a Disco Jedi. So what?!
4. Food: Always start out by eating out. You can go to the same old place, but I prefer going to somewhere different and fun each time; you know, to spice things up and make each GNO unique. Examples: Cheesecake Factory, Carrabba's, California Pizza Kitchen (apparently in our case, we only go to places that start with "C").

5. No Boys: WHATEVER you do, DO NOT invite your boyfriend, husband, gay friend, or anyone who has a Y chromosome to GNO. The whole point of GNO is to get away from the testosterone. This has happened to us once and let's just say, the boy got glared at all night. Don't do this because then he just looks like That Guy Who Tags Along on Girls Night Out.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

...And We're Back!

I don't know if you've heard, but there's been an uprising and the masses (and my fans) have spoken. Their only request: that I update my blog.
So, I must acquiesce and honor their demand. Honestly, I've been meaning to update--but since I've returned to the glorious land of AZ--my life hasn't really been as exciting as it used to be. I mean, playing Mart Kart Wii, working out, and tanning by the pool all day long is plenty exciting to me, but neither post inspiring nor worthy of my blog.

Also, 10 cool points to whoever can name the movie from the picture above.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

They Really Let You Do That?

I graduated today. I've been waiting for this day for so long because--honestly--I couldn't wait to get out of here. Or at least I would have said that at the beginning of Fall semester. But a lot of things have changed since then: awesome Marketing classes; fabulous, fun roommates; Laura; Xtina; Scrabblegrams; dance parties....and SO much more. This year has been the BEST year I have EVER had at BYU and for once, I'm sad to leave. But what can you do.

Anyways, enough with the emo Morgan. The real reason for this post was because I wanted to discuss theses (the plural of thesis for those who are thinking that I spelled "these" wrong). So yesterday was the university commencement and in the program, those who got university honors were listed along with the title of the thesis they wrote. Some were legit, others were questionable...yet HILARIOUS! Please...scroll down with me to view a few of these gold nuggets I discovered:

Major: Comparative Studies - THESIS: The Mythic Symbols of Batman (Awesome.)

Aaaand my personal favorite (this one's for you Laura):

Major: Mass Communications - THESIS: Using the ZMET Method to Understand individual Meanings Created by Video-Game Players Through the Player-Super Mario Avatar Relationship. (I MUST meet this guy).

....hahahahaha. Seriously, if I knew that you could write your thesis on practically ANYTHING you wanted, I would have done one of these. I'm thinking "The Addicting Effects of Guitar Hero 3 on the College Student Psyche and its Ability to Delude Those With No Real Legitimate Talent at All into Thinking They're Actual Laudable Rockstars." Yes, I think that'll do.

Monday, April 21, 2008

50 Reasons

50 Reasons Why Momo & Xtina Didn’t Go On Any Dates This Semester:

I believe the title says enough: we have managed to compile a list of 50 reasons why no guys asked us outor even wanted to ask us out this semester. I'm sure we could have made this list even longer, but 50 is embarrassing enough.

50. When a boy asks us what our plans are, we say that we are "obviously hanging out with each other."
49. Have photo shoots on a weekly basis—most of the time. Being models is such a busy life...
48. Get all of the latest model poses—which we implement in our weekly photo shoots—by watching America's Next Top Model marathons on VH1
47. Share an addiction for What Not to Wear, even though we never got to watch one together this semester
46. As a tradition, we binge on Churros (at least three) every time we are at Disneyland, even when we are not with each other
45. Have matching MacBooks
44. "Pimped out" our rides, aka MacBooks, using the exact same method, just different foiling colors (Kristina has green and Morgan has red)
43. Wear way too much cheetah and or/leopard print
42. Half the time, our hanging out is spent studying in the library together
41. The most common text message we send each other is, "Where are you?"
40. We talk to each other on our computers via google chat even though we're in the same room.
39. Watched all of Grey's Anatomy—4 seasons worth—in our apartment within two months.
38. Love to fill up people's cameras with pictures of the two of us (usually taken in a "MySpace fashion" from a high angle)
37. Make friends with random people on campus: Spanish-speaking missionaries, Multimedia Lab Assistants, etc.
36. Invite those friends over for game nights (excluding the missionaries) and then use them to get us Oregon Trail for our computers.
35. Whenever we go to a concert, we somehow manage to get in the VIP area where we then proceed to steal energy drinks by shoving them into our giant handbags.
34. Carry around handbags filled with stolen energy drinks.
33. We're beautiful, ambitious, and are pursuing careers as high powered doctors: traits that, when combined, are lethal and intimidating to other men. Specifically—all BYU men.
32. Judge people by their ability to put makeup on—basically how much black eyeliner they apply.
31. MAC Cosmetics addicts
30. Know all the MAC eyeshadow colors by heart. So instead of saying, "Oh your makeup looks good today," we say, "Oh I really like Amber Lights on your lid. And is that a hint of Honey Lust I see in your crease?"
29. We relate to over 50% of the things on the list of "Stuff White People Like"
28. Criticize the blonde, white waitresses at sushi restaurants. Blonde/white= not legit.
27. It has been said that we even talk in the same manner/way.
26. When people ask us about doing things separately we reply,"Whatever, we do what we want!"
25. After we saw a Gay couple at Disneyland, we choose to hold hands as well.
24. Whenever there is a Cheesecake Factory in the area near us, we proceed to go and enjoy a tasty slice of key-lime cheesecake—even if we are full.
23. Refer to each other by somewhat offensive terms such as hoe, skank, and slut.
22. Sometimes refer to each other by our Grey's Anatomy Aliases—Dr. Torres and Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd
21. In discussing our lives, we also burst into random rap or hip-hop songs, i.e. "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means?"
20. Call people Cholos (mostly Xtina). Example: "What do you think you are looking at, Cholo?"
19. Relate our lives to surgeries and relationships within the Grey's Anatomy universe.
18. Make our own Spring Break DISNEYLAND.
17. Make fun of the lame Jack Sparrow impersonator at Disneyland.
16. Facebook stalk people (mostly Morgan).
15. Try to order Asparagus on our pizza (actually, that was just Morgan again).
14. Cruise the streets of Provo in a flashy red Mustang
13. Dance ridiculously while driving in the flashy red Mustang
12. Compiled a complete playlist of all 326 songs played on Grey's Anatomy
11. Enjoy Sub-Zero fixes weekly
10. We Cackle, as opposed to flirtatiously giggling when speaking to boys/men
9. Listen to Britney Spears, daily
8. Listen to Miley Cyrus, daily—and are proud of it. Once we heard it play on the mainstream radio, we labeled it "legit" to listen to.
7. Randomly pass the thizz at people mid conversation (mostly Stina)
6. Flash Peace signs—Japanese style. Example: our picture with Mulan at Disneyland.
5. We go to dances as a couple, doubling with Bri and Adam of course.
4. When we think no one is in the room, Morgan seductively/creepily says, "We are finally alone" only to have someone else walk in the room at that exact moment. Talk about awkward!
3. Have expensive Sushi fixes—weekly
2. Worship Dr. Pepper like Hindu's worship Vishnu.
1. People think we’re lesbians.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

One of "Them"

The next time a friend tells you, "Let's have a (insert popular, network TV show here) night!" Just say no. Trust me, I've done it to my friends many times with Grey's Anatomy and Survivor. It's just a ploy to get you addicted so that the next time you get together, they can have someone to obsess with about the characters, overly dramatic plot lines, and "how gorgeous what's-his-face is."

This just recently happened to me with LOST. My roommates and I foolishly bought Season 1 for my LOST-obsessed roommate's birthday. We appeased to watch the first few episodes with her (it was her birthday after all) and by the end of it, we were all hooked. I've become one of "them"--those crazy LOST fans. It's only been a week and we now watch two episodes every night before we go to bed and we're almost done with disk 6--the last disk. So the big question is....does anyone have season 2?

And can I just say, Sawyer is the hottest piece of man flesh I've ever seen. Yes, please.

Why, it's Sparkling Peach.

I always have a bottle of lotion with me in my bag at all times. You'll never know when you'll suddenly realize how cracked and scaly your hands are or when someone will ask, "Does anyone have any lotion?" Why yes, actually, I do.

So I was in the library studying the other day (Wait, let me rephrase that. Now that I think about it, I am almost 100% positive that I was playing
this game online). Anyways, I needed some lotion, so dug around my giant bag and found my handy bottle of lotion. I generously applied it, then went back to "studying."

About 10 minutes later, the guy sitting next to me tapped me on the back and asked, "Excuse me, but what kind of lotion is that?" I answered, "Why, it's Sparkling Peach. Would you like some?" as I handed the bottle to him. He declined, but instead took the bottle, opened it, and inhaled the scent with his eyes closed while saying, "That smells
SO good." Um.....yeah, it does. Creeper. Then he gave it back to me and went back to studying his "Mechanics of Business Writing." Yeah with a boring class like that, I'm assuming you'll use anything as a substitute for a hallucinogen just to keep you sane.

But seriously, I'm always surprised about how much guys love girly smells--
fruity girly smells at that. The potency of my lotion always gets comments from guys and this experience gave me flashbacks to junior high and the boys' obsession with the Victoria's Secret lotion/fragrance--Love Spell. After gym, girls in the locker room would douse themselves in this "perfume," not because they enjoyed the smell, but because they knew the guys did. Personally, I think that stuff smells like a rejected lollipop flavor, but guys eat it up. But it worked, whenever a girl put it on she'd have about 10 guys swarming her within 5 minutes. Even then, I won't give in. Sparkling Peach seems to work fine for me.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Just For Fun

I was bored today after eating some awesome Thai food. So, I decided to do this little fun thing:

1. Go to

2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box

3. Use only the first page

4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? 3. What school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Who is your favorite Disney Princess?
Or...if she doesn't count. 7. Favorite drink?
8. Dream Vacation?

9. Favorite Dessert?

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?
(Except on people...not toys)
11. What do you love most in life?

12. One word to describe you?
13. What do you dream about?